The first half of the year saw a lot of changes and a lot of growing up to do. I know its ironic for a 24 year to say that she needs to grow up when she already is an adult. But I guess there comes a time where you just have to face the reality that you’re an adult now and you have responsibilities. Trust me, this was the last thing I wanted to do, to leave my adolescent behind and despite all the kicking and screaming of not wanting to face the harsh fact that I’m older now, responsibilities stares me in the face and forces me to accept it. I know I’m being overly dramatic at the moment but a piece of me did not want to let go of my carefree days and the childlike innocence. But eventually I learned to let go and basically grow up and frankly it ain’t so bad after all. The past few months have been a rough journey to deal with and it pushed me way beyond my limits.
The first harsh reality that I had to face was the fact that I could not afford to continue studying. I had plans, Big Plans when the year started but everything fell through two weeks into college. It was a hard thing to deal with at that time and I was clueless on what I’m supposed to do. And then it hit me. I had to make a decision on my own on what my next step would be and boy it wasn’t easy. A lot of pondering, a lot of wallowing in self pity, a lot of questions to be answered and the list goes on. It was quite overwhelming. But I finally made a decision to quit college and get a job. Yes, I could have just transferred to another college which was cheaper and yes, I could have somehow made it work to get back to studying but something told me to try something new and change my course of direction. Another factor that made me choose to work was family responsibilities. Lets face it, my parents aren’t getting any younger and to put them through another two or three years of supporting me financially was not something I wanted to do. I decided that if I were to go back to school, I would do it when I’m financially secured and can support myself throughout the whole process. So then I came up with Plan B.
Plan B was to find a part time job that I could do for a few months, save up and go back to college. But the thing was I didn’t want just any job. I wanted to do what I studied for. I wanted to do what I love. So I applied everywhere I could possibly think of but most places wanted some sort of experience. Hence I wrote in applying for an internship to get said experience. I knew the pay was going to be close to nothing, but heck it I just wanted to write. I even came up with a plan to get a part time job to support myself during my internship. Sounds pretty complicated huh? But thankfully I didn’t have to do that. I landed a 3 months contract working as a editorial assistant/writer for a magazine. And those three months was the best 3 months I ever had. I learned a lot about the publication world and over some time I fell deeper in love with it. The feeling of seeing your article which you wrote being published with your name on it is truly a great feeling. Its not the bragging feeling but its like a sense of achievement in your life and I would say one of the proudest moments of my life. This is the first actually because I’ve never been proud of myself before this.
The people that I met throughout my working experience thought me a lot. It was fun. Attending events and meeting new people every week was fun. I always thought I’ll end up in the newspaper business but at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter where I was as long as I am writing.
Those three months came and went like the wind. The next thing I knew I was faced yet again with another crucial decision to be made. I came up with Plan C.
Plan C was to ask for a full time position and continue studying part time. But I think God had other plans for me. A month after I joined, they hired a full time writer thinking I wasn’t going to be there for long and at that moment I still was undecided on going back to school so when I finally made a decision it was rather too late. They did want to keep my in the company but I wouldn’t be doing what I wanted to do so I came up with Plan D.
Plan D was simple (at least in my head it was), thinking that now I had the experience I could easily get another job and move on. As easy as I though it was, it WASN’T. The whole process of sending out resumes and anxiously waiting for a reply took a toil on me. And the sudden stir with my mum’s health made matters worse. I felt pretty much useless at one point. I prayed and prayed for help but I guess God wanted to me to wait for awhile longer, to put everything that was going on in my head into perspective. And I just snapped out of it. He made me realize that He has great plans for me, its just that I would have to be patient and except every hurdle and difficulty that comes my way with a brave heart because there is a reason for everything. And true enough, the one company that I set my eyes on from the very beginning responded to my email. Long story short, I am now employed and am about to do what I love doing. =)
Truth be told, I wouldn’t have been able to do it, if I didn’t put my trust in God, if I didn’t have someone like you (Adrian Arvin Anthony) encouraging me, believing in me every step of the way and if I didn’t make that call to Sr. Yvonne moments before I entered for my second interview. I believe that they are God sent. Placed in my life for a purpose. And for that I am grateful for everything that life gives me or even throws at me for that matter because I came out of it stronger than before. This marks a new beginning for me. Whether it works out or not, I don’t know. I’m not going to predict how things are going to turn out to be either because whatever that comes my way I’ll accept it humbly as His will for He knows whats best for me. Like I said everything happens for a reason.
“But He said to me, ” My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you”. So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can live in me. For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10e